Hard of Hearing Mom-hood

It's been some time since I last wrote. I'm now 30+ weeks pregnant with a baby girl to be named Ella. It's been a relatively easy and uncomplicated pregnancy. I feel tremendously blessed. I'm so excited that I rarely give much thought to what it will be like to be a hard of hearing mother but when I do, I try to focus less on my frustration that I have hearing loss and more on how I can adapt as a mother. Fortunately, with a little research, I've discovered some baby monitors have a vibrating feature. According to some threads I have seen online, a model by Graco appears to be the go-to for hearing-impaired moms. I think this will be a life-saver particularly at night when I'm unaided. Of course, I could turn the volume up to the highest level on the monitor to help wake me but I have to consider my hearing hubby trying to sleep next to me. I also live in a condo complex and no doubt my neighbors won't appreciate hearing Ella in stereo. So, the vibrating option is fabulous. I'll be placing it right by my head and hopefully, we'll all be happy with the result. I am really eager to see this plan in action and whether it really is as useful as I expect. What's been really interesting, too, has been reading up on other HOH moms experiences. For example, it's a relief to read posts by the Lipreading Mom. If blogger Shanna Groves, a severely hard of hearing mom can successfully raise her three kids and all with a sense of humor, then it gives me additional hope I can do the same as Ella's mom. As a member of the national Hearing Loss Association of America, which is a great resource for all ages facing hearing loss, I get their monthly magazine. Before I was even trying to get pregnancy I read a poignant article written by the wife of a severely hard of hearing man. They have a family. One of the stories she relayed to readers hit home. Apparently, they both attended their child's parent-teacher conference. There, the teacher jokingly (albeit, her words may have stung, despite the joking tone) told them that meeting the HOH father made her understand why their son spoke so loudly. I do have this concern for Ella. She will undoubtedly need to learn how to be patient with her hard-of-hearing mom when I don't respond right away to her voice or when I'll ask her to repeat herself more than once. But, eventually, she'll probably adapt as she won't know any different. What may be a bigger challenge for her will be to understand intellectually that Mom is different than everyone else and has different communication needs. I do wonder if she'll be a loud kid. As a youngster will she not be able identify when it's necessary for her to adjust her behavior based on a specific situation or the company she's in? My greatest hope for her is that she never feels different because she has a hard-of-hearing mom. That may be a little unrealistic but a girl can wish. I have had some ringing in my ears since I got pregnant and suspect a particularly bad few days of fullness in the ears was in fact another episode of AIED. I chose not to go to my audiologist and ENT because of the pregnancy. My reasoning: if it was AIED the intertympanic steroid shots would be even more uncomfortable than while I wasn't pregnant and there could always be a potential for passing trace amounts of steroids to Ella. But, I do wonder, post-pregnancy, how my AIED will progress and how it might impact my relationship with my daughter. The fluctuation in my hearing will no doubt confuse her. With each episode, I've become more aware of the signs and my reaction but that doesn't mean I don't still get agitated while in the middle of one. I hope I can continue to learn how adapt to these episodes so as not to let my frustration about them infiltrate my parenting. Ella won't understand that Mom is agitated not by her but something else beyond our control. I've also been considering the smaller things I might need to do differently once Ella arrives. Right now, I have a tendency to toss batteries in my purse, my car and other random locations. While Ella's little, I will have to hide my hearing aid batteries to avoid the risk of ingestion. I think it might also be necessary to take my hearing aids out when I bathe her as a baby so her potential splashing doesn't break Mommy's aids. I think it's really important that I also get Ella and I involved in the baby sign language classes that have become so popular. It will no doubt be a very important tool for us. Until she's able to enunciate clearly and she's using a clear confident tone that Mommy can hear more easily, I think we'll need a fallback way of communicating. Sign will bridge the gap, I suspect. I will always encourage her to use her words too but it may be helpful for us both to sign and talk at the same time so we can understand each other. I am looking forward to the gift of motherhood and conquering my hearing loss in new uncharted ways. I simply can't wait to meet my munchkin!